I woke up, to the air conditioning.
I'm sure it rang so softly, but to me it was just a loud obnoxious cry.
Like the moans of a breaking heart...
So familiar to me.
I woke up next to Jr. After talking and retalking and talking again with my mother and Jr, their tears held up my white flag while nobody got my S.O.S. code. I know I'm in this alone.
I don't want to have anyone hurt, but either choice I make... I lose.
I stared at my son this morning and he was smiling in his dreams. I saw no more worry of a battle in Jr's eyes, but I sensed his pain. I will not let my clearity go. He cannot have me until I have myself.
Didn't my last entry sound so fucking good, Diary? Well... I already chose this road. I have to give it another chance.
Although, I decided to shower in the dark. When I got out, I saw the steam peacefully floating and I thought of my cookie. 3048241124. Digits that I finger in my mind, over and over and over. This is not my life anymore. I am a mother not an individual. xoxo qui I will never let go of his shadow. 11:35 a.m. - 2003-08-17
Recent entries:
you have arrived at your destination - 2015-09-03
Little Black Book - 2015-08-03
happiness. - 2015-06-18
Quiet riot. - 2014-01-08
Note to self. - 2014-01-02
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